Bean Gets Castrated!!! A Tale of Betrayal (as told by Bean himself!)
You are absolutely NOT going to believe the day I've had. Honestly, even I can't believe what my own human has put me through. And I thought I could trust her!
It all started suspiciously early this morning. Too early to be honest. My catnap was cut extremely short, in fact I'd only just finished my 5am zoomies with Fury, when my mum got up. Nevermind, I thought, it might be unusually early, but at least we'll get an early breakfast.
Oh, how wrong I was. We weren't getting fed early, in fact, we weren't getting fed at all - no breakfast was served. We had been disturbed and awakened at some stupid hour of the morning, but our breakfast bowls remained empty. I was fuming, no ... I was more than fuming, I was livid. I'm a growing boy, I need my food!
Then, it went from bad to worse ... already exhausted from having my catnap cut short, starving from getting no brekkie, I was then coerced into getting in the cat carrier. Now, I don't usually mind the cat carrier - as long as it's not actually used to carry me anywhere. If I have to go in the car I'm quite happy as long as I'm sat on the lap of my favourite human. But not this time. This time I was put in the back of the car in the carrier. What the heck was going on, I had no idea. No explanation, no warning, absolutely disgraceful.
What ensued can only be described as the journey from hell!
I swear I was in that car for about a year. It was soooooo long. I tried meowing a heck of a lot to express my feelings about the situation, but to no avail. Anyway, let's just say the carrier did not survive the journey with its dignity intact and neither did I. There was WEE, there was POO and there was a very stinky Bean as well as a very unhappy human! It was not pleasant!
After taking me inside and getting me cleaned up, we waited in the waiting room. I tried purring and rubbing my head against my humans fingers through the carrier, thinking if I was nice enough to her, she might take me home with her. It didn't work.
I had to be weighed - 3.8kg, not bad at all, I'm not as chunky as they all keep saying!
Then I was shoved back in the carrier and the next thing I knew my human had left me there. What on earth had she done that for? I had no idea what was coming next, and if I had, there's actually no way I would ever have got in that stupid cat carrier in the first place!
The rest is a bit blurry to be honest, I can't really remember what happened except it involved me losing some of my beautiful fur off my front leg and a very large needle!
Next thing I knew, I was back in the cat carrier - definitely feeling not quite the same as I did before, with a stupid cone thing on my head and high as a kite! But there was my human, yesssssss she had come back for me. Thank the Lord, at least I could now go home.
The car journey home was very uneventful, I was silent, pure silent ... I think I was in total shock at what had happened so I just lay there and stared into space. I didn't quite feel myself, but at least this time, I managed to keep control of my bladder!
Finally, home sweet home, and all I wanted was to get out of that stupid carrier and EAT, I was absolutely starving. But of course, there was one final obstacle between me and my breakfast, the enormous plastic cone stuck on my head!
I tried to get out of the carrier, but I couldn't even get my enormous cone through the carrier door. Seriously, who designed this ridiculous thing? I had been through enough already. Eventually, I escaped both the carrier and the cone. The cone lasted about five seconds once I was free. Never again, not a chance are they putting one of those on me again.
At last .... FOOD! My human fed me, I got food! I had never been so hungry in all my born days. Mum gave me some special food from the vet that was gentle on my tummy so I wouldn't get sick after the anaesthetic. Was it the tastiest food I'd ever had? No. Did I care? Absolutely not. I inhaled the lot.
After everything I had been through, I was exhausted. Thankfully, my favourite human, Lauren wrapped me up in her dressing gown like a little purrito and I had a really big, comfy sleep in her room. Finally, some peace and quiet. No carrier, no ridiculous cone, no vet. Just me, a cosy dressing gown and the chance to recover after my terrible ordeal.
When I woke up, things were starting to look up. I had some lovely new toys waiting for me as a reward for being such a big, brave boy.
Everyone was fussing over me, I was the centre of attention, there was playing, cuddles and most importantly, more FOOD!
... maybe this wasn't so bad after all! I mean I could of done without the kidnapping, the hunger, the embarassing carrier incident and the surgery. But the toys were good, the cuddles were good. And the food? Well, the food was excellent.
The aftermath - I would like to make one thing perfectly clear: I have not forgiven my human.
I shall be accepting extra Dreamies, premium cuddles and taking absolutely no questions at this time.
My human may think everything is back to normal, but I shall remember this betrayal. Probably until tea time. And if anyone mentions the word vet again, I shall be contacting my solicitor!
Bean
P.S. Mum, I know where you sleep!
"Has your cat ever had a visit that turned into a complete disaster? Tell Bean he's not the only one in the comments!"
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